Why Do I Drink Too Much?

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0><tr> <td valign="top" colspan=2 height=90 BGCOLOR="#006699" TEXT="#080000" background="005fd5a3.jpg"> <div> <I><B>Dependency Answers</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>         </B></I><FONT SIZE="2" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Georgia" ><I><B>  Since 1998</B></I></FONT></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <B>|     </B><A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Dependency Answers"><U><B>home</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> </div> </td> </tr><tr> <td valign="top" width=210 BGCOLOR="#FFCC66" TEXT="#080000" background="006d2b03.jpg"> <bR> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="01696760.png" border=0 width="150" height="118" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div> <A HREF="id21.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Articles and Resources"><U><B><U>Articles and Resources</U></B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Dependency Answers"><U><B><U>Home</U></B></U></A></div> <bR> </td> <td valign="top" height=390 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <I><B>Why Do We Drink Too Much?</B></I></div> <bR> <div> I picked a lighthouse for the picture on this page because the lighthouse has been the constant source for navigation or guidance for centuries. Sometimes in life all of us need to be reminded of the value of a guiding light in our lives instead of taking the stance that "I don't need anyone or no one can tell me anything". It's Ok to ask people questions and say we don't know stuff because that is the only way to find stuff out and then know more.</div> <bR> <bR> <div> But somewhere along the line many of us get tripped up by thinking that we're stupid if we don't know everything and then admit to that. I'm not an astronaut or a brain surgeon so I know I don't know everything. Even if I was either, I probably wouldn't know how to drive a bulldozer, backhoe or be a male stripper. We all have our specific knowledge. All knowledge has value.</div> <bR> <bR> <div> Everybody has this little voice inside their head that tells them things. When someone says something to us or looks at us a certain way our little voice says stuff to us. When we are young that little voice may sound like one of our parents admonishing us when we know we have just done something wrong. When we go out into the working world the voice of our boss might begin to rip us up when we make mistakes. And when we date and get married our little voice might be our significant other complaining about all we aren't or don't or can't do. Then our kids may add to our voice list with all the typical kid things of wants, desires and not minding their manners.</div> <bR> <bR> <div> That little voice is inside everyone's head. It sounds like not only us, but many people we know or have known. When we are growing up and hear more negatives than "atta boys" and "kudos" and hear our parents and relations ripping each other up our main source of brain food comes down to eating garbage with our ears, minds and hearts. When this happens it becomes very hard to understand an "atta boy" or a "kudo" simply because that's not what we're used to getting.</div> <bR> <bR> <div> In fact, a "kudo" might be something we now crave and we'll do just about anything to get one. We might sell ourselves and allow ourselves to be used and abused for a kind word. Everybody likes a pat on the head. Or in other instances, we may feel people are being insincere or a smart ass and we start to stew inside over it. We may even hunker down and try not to draw any good attention to ourselves at all. All attention either being insincere or hateful and thereby hurtful. No one likes to feel hurt and frustrated.</div> <bR> <bR> <div> Our little voice can be our best friend or our worst enemy. For example; Have you ever been looking at something and a person in your sight path blurts out; "What the Hell are you looking at?" and you weren't even looking at them? Or have you ever felt that someone was staring at you only to be told they were just innocently looking in your direction? That little voice inside the head is telling someone that someone else disapproves of them and then the fun begins. Why would my little voice do that? That's really mean.</div> <bR> <bR> <div> Many of us in the past think we can tell by looking at someone what they think of us. The little voice kicks in and tells us this other person thinks we're a joke or a loser. Why is our little voice so quick to make our lives miserable? Wouldn't it be more kind if that voice said; "Maybe this person isn't even thinking of you" or Maybe this person has had a bad day." or "Maybe this person is sad or drunk or just a fool to everyone."? Why doesn't our little voice give the benefit of the doubt? Why do we believe our little voice when it causes us to so feel sick inside?</div> <bR> <bR> <div> Why do we drink too much? Scientists have been trying to figure that one out for years. But being an alcoholic myself and a total addict myself as well as knowing several Titanic's full of people just like me I would wager a fair guess that I was trying to drown out that little voice inside my head that was telling me that no matter how hard I tried, no matter what I did I was not going to get any real and lasting happiness out of life. I was always going to feel bad about everything I had or did. Nothing could ever work out for me because that only happened for other people and certainly not for me. And over the years I began a deep hatred for those who had what I could never have out of life and I tried to drink that away as well. All those voice personalities and the feelings they caused was too much to bear. I felt ganged up on.</div> <bR> <bR> <div> Now I tried hard to change these situations many times by trying to change my address, the things I owned, my list of friends and even loves of my life. Sports cars, nice home, nice clothes and even telling people off from time to time as well as sucking up. Nothing worked. That little crabie assed voice never quit so I went after more powerful drugs and ever increasing amounts of booze and even sex. Didn't work. I nearly died and my little voice was still with me telling me what a loser I was. That voice just kept getting meaner.</div> <bR> <bR> <div> When I was 34, about a month before my 35th Birthday, at 6'3" I weighed 154 pounds and would bleed from the stomach when I drank whiskey and my nose was shot from cocaine and my nerves were brittle from speed. I was dying. I knew it too. Trying to cheat the Grimm Reaper I decided to go to a rehab hospital and let them patch me up and get me healthy so I could go out and use again. Anyway I figured it would get my wife, parents and boss off of my case. "Hey look! I'm trying!" Hehehehe. Suckers!</div> <bR> <bR> <div> But I goofed! When I went in I asked questions and got answers. That was my first mistake. I tried to resist what they told me but they kept hitting the nail on the head everytime I argued with them. They knew me. They had never laid eyes on me before but they knew me better than anyone including me. Only God himself knew me better. And my little critical mean voice started to get quiet. Yea, it was still there. But now I had ammo and much more than a clip worth. I had tons of ammo and for 16 years that little voice has been in the corner with a gun to it's mouth making it say nice stuff. If it says mean stuff I simply ignore it or force it to take it back!</div> <bR> <bR> <div> What did it? I emptied my garbage pail with the help of other people who had emptied their garbage pails. You see, we all still have that little voice and we always will. But our little voices are now forced to say nicer stuff and quit lying to us.</div> <bR> <bR> <div> So the next time you pick up a drink or a drug simply make a mental note of what that little voice said to you BEFORE you got the idea to go have a drink. Keep a diary of what that little voice says to you daily because that little voice has everything to do with the way you feel and everything to do with what you do about how you feel. It's my best guess that your little voice may sooner or later kill you.</div> <div> Don't believe me? Just keep a record.</div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> Copyright 2003-2006 © DependencyAnswers All Rights Reserved</div> <bR> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>